Chubby Girl in the Sexy Panties

Thank you to whoever it was who posted the picture of the curvy, plus sized woman in the sexy panties because you sparked a spiritual awakening in my heart.

I saw this woman while scrolling through Facebook, and I thought, “Dannggggg, girl!” Because she is everything I wish I was…confident, sexy, and sensuous. She looked amazing!

Sexy Panties!

But then I saw the comments (why do I always read the comments!?) and, of course, they were 90% negative.


People were saying things like, “She is disgusting” or “She shouldn’t wearing that.”

And would you be shocked if I told you that it was mainly WOMEN tearing apart this photo?

Yea…I didn’t think you would be that shocked.

But there were some men who had some awful things to say, too. People can be so mean.

Now, it’s no secret that I am NOT a skinny woman…and it’s also no secret that my husband loves the way I look.

I really wondered what he would think of this plus size model wearing these super sexy panties…so I showed him and I asked him to be completely honest about what he saw.

A smile crept up on his face.

I could just imagine what he was thinking, “Is this a trick? Why is she showing me this half-naked woman?!”

I urged him to be 100% honest about what he thought.

He said she was beautiful and “sexy as hell”…and then immediately wanted to know if I was buying those sexy panties for myself.

Which my immediate response was, “No!”

This experience and conversation with my husband lead me to do a little soul-searching.

Let me start at the beginning…

When I was 15 years old, I started dating my husband.

I had finally grown into myself for the most part, and I was starting to really look like a woman. I was tall, thin, had curvy hips and long blonde hair.

Ben and I at prom…how cute!

Between the ages of 16 and 18 years old, Ben and I became very serious and we spent almost every single waking minute together. It was love! 

When we would go out, Ben would point out that different guys “checking me out.”

Some guys would follow me around to try to talk to me.

And even though Ben was with me on most occasions, guys would say things to me…sometimes these things were sweet & innocent (you’re cute!) but most of the time they were wildly inappropriate.

Some guys would try to smack my butt, and some guys actually did. Some guys would “accidentally” brush against my breasts.  😡😡

Maybe some girls like this attention…but it made me incredibly uncomfortable. stop

I didn’t want guys looking at me. I didn’t want anyone talking to me. I didn’t want to be called sexy, beautiful, cute…whatever.  I didn’t want it. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.

I felt like I had so much more inside of me that was precious and wonderful, and I didn’t want to believe that my only worth was because I was “sexy.”

I had dark thoughts of what might happen in our big city if I were ever alone. I didn’t feel safe. I wanted to make myself as unnoticeable as possible.

I started putting on weight.

Subconsciously, I know that I was trying to protect myself from being noticed. Protect me from any harm.

The body is a great friend in that way, and I am so thankful that my body responded to those feelings. I will never condemn my body for trying to protect me. 

I stopped shopping for cute clothes, and I stopped wearing them, too.

Fast forward ten years, and I am 30 years old. I am happily married, and I have three gorgeous children…and I am still protecting myself.

I am 100% uncomfortable with shopping for myself. I don’t buy new clothes hardly EVER.

I have 5 pairs of the same pants.

I have 7-8 shirts that I wear on a regular rotation…ALL the same cut & style, just different colors.

I don’t wear anything that anyone could even possibly call “sexy.”

I don’t wear dresses, skirts, shorts…ever.

I know I am beautiful on the inside, but I need to feel beautiful on the outside too.

Now, let’s get back to the curvy woman in the sexy panties…

As I was talking with Ben about this, it was as if my higher-self took over my voice and said this:

“I don’t believe I am worthy of feeling sexy, beautiful, or gorgeous… and that is because I am not giving myself permission to be sexy. I have closed off that side of myself in order to protect myself from harm, but now I am safe. I am loved and cherished. I need to allow my inner goddess to shine if I want to move forward on my spiritual journey.”

Dang, the truth I needed to hear just came out of my OWN mouth.

Because yea, my higher self is SO RIGHT!!!

I would literally NEVER describe myself as sexy.

How sad is that?!

I mainly focus on my inner beauty…I am kind, I am full of love, I am generous, I am thoughtful, etc.

And while I am SOO proud of the person I have become on the inside, my higher-self is guiding me, and teaching me that it is so important for me to embrace not only the spiritual but the physical part of my life.

Wow, such a simple but powerful revelation!

So guess what guys?


I hereby give myself permission to wear cute, and even SEXY things, be proud of my body, and heck…even LOVE my body!

I cut my hair in a cute bob, which is a drastic change for me! shaunna

I ordered a few dresses online, and I cried because for so long I have admired women wearing beautiful dresses and I just didn’t think I could. I didn’t think my body was worthy.

Oh, and I ordered some sexy panties!!!!!!!!!!!!

I asked my husband to pick out some sexy things that he would like to see me in…

and he sent me about 5,000 links to the things he wants to buy… 😂😂😂

Finally, he is actually EXCITED that I am having a spiritual awakening. LOL😂

Alright guys, thanks for reading! I appreciate you for sticking around for the long haul! It was very healing for me to get this all out.

Sending you all peace & love! xoxo








It has been such a long time since I have had time to sit down and write a blog. Time seems to be zooming by at supersonic speed right now!

Over the past few months, our two older daughters went back to school (kindergarten and second grade) and we celebrated our youngest daughter’s first birthday! We had a great Halloween with the kids dressing up as a Genie, a Greek Goddess, and a Pumpkin!

I challenged myself to 100 days of painting (currently on day 34!) and it’s been going well. Really helping me to shake things up and put more focus onto my work.

A few weeks ago, we felt guided to go vegan. It was a huge leap for my hubby and I–but things are going well. Surprisingly, it has been a much easier transition than we expected. This week we are going to be trying black bean burgers with vegan cheese and fries! We are really missing burgers…so this is gonna be AWESOME! 😀

Well, I just wanted to force myself to come on here and write a little blurb…and later on I want to come and create some posts about some enlightening things that have happened with every topic that I mentioned above!



Every day for the past 5 months I have been walking my children to and from school. At first, it was due to necessity, because my husband’s car stopped working and he had to take my car to get to and from work…but now I have found so many wonderful reasons to continue to walk.

The first reason, of course, is that it is good for my physical health! I walk at least 2 miles every day…sometimes 4 miles when I take the long way home.

Second, I am finding that it is incredible for my spiritual health. My mind. Good for my soul. Here’s why…

A few months ago, I was walking home–and as I walked along, I was admiring the trees, flowers, birds, squirrels, peacocks, the sky, the dirt, the homes I was passing, the cars I saw…I was admiring it all. I wasn’t merely looking…I was appreciating.

In that moment, I realized how helpful this could be in my life. Gratitude is so POWERFUL and here I was faced with an opportunity to do a walking meditation while 100% focused on gratitude. So instead of just viewing it and appreciating all the wonderful things I was seeing–I began to THANK everything!

Here was a bit of my thought process:

Thank you, Trees–for existing, for being so beautiful, and for creating oxygen for me to breathe. Thank you, Trees–for supplying a home for birds, squirrels, and bugs, for standing steady and strong during storms and for providing me a shady shelter during hot days. Thank you, Flowers–for existing, for being so beautiful and colorful, for surrounding me with beauty and reminding me that life is so sweet, and for growing in abundance. Thank you, Birds & Squirrels–for keeping me company as I walk along, for playing and reminding me that life should be fun! Thank you, Homes–for being beautiful and for protecting the wonderful humans and pets that are inside. Thank you, Cars–for being shiny and pretty to look at, and for keeping us safe as we travel the roads. Oh, hello, Sky!…thank you for changing all the time & reminding me that change is a necessary part of life and thank you for being so vast & reminding me that life is full of possibility. Thank you, Sky–for creating clouds, rain, and rainbows! Thank you, Dirt–for creating a solid foundation for while my life is built and for being a fertile place for plants to grow and creatures to live. Thank you, Breeze–for sweeping across my body and keeping me cool and for sharing the flowers sweet fragrance with me. Etc!

For 15-20 minutes, as I walk along…I just go on & on inside my own mind. Focusing 100% on exactly what I am grateful for in that PRESENT moment. Not focusing on anything other than what I am seeing, feeling, and experiencing.

I call this my GRATITUDE WALK and it is so good for my Soul!

Lately, I have been coaching a few people and WORTHINESS has been coming up a lot. A feeling of unworthiness can show up in your life as dis-ease, sickness, pain, failure, depression, etc! Believing you are worthy is ESSENTIAL to living at your highest potential. It is ESSENTIAL for you to move forward as the wonderful, happy, & joyous light being that you REALLY ARE.

So, that got me thinking–

and today I took my very first WORTHINESS WALK. (Kinda catchy, eh?)

So, 15-20 minutes while walking–I began to focus 100% on all the reasons I am worthy. At first, it was very general…but as I walked on things began to shift and my subconscious began to respond and tons of reasons began flooding my thoughts. We all struggle with feelings of unworthiness…and that is so sad because we came here to Earth flourish. We came here to live abundantly…and these feelings of unworthiness hold us back from really experiencing what we are meant to experience here.

Here is a little peak inside of my thought process for my WORTHINESS WALK.

I am worthy. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of Ben’s love. I am worthy of Lily’s love. I am worthy of Emma’s love, I am worthy of Kate’s love. I am worthy of my Parent’s love. I am worthy of having a nice home. I am worthy of having a nice & safe car. I am worthy of the beauty that is all around me. I am worthy of happy experiences. I am worthy of being loved. I am worthy of my creativity. I am a worthy artist. I am worthy of praise. I am worthy of compliments. I am worthy of good friendship. I am worthy of my positive thoughts. I am worthy of traveling to the places I want to go. I am worthy of experiencing the things I want to experience. Etc…

The important part of this is to keep focused! Just like in meditation…sometimes your mind will wander off and think other things.


You are NOT doing it wrong.

There is NO way to this wrong.

Let me repeat–YOU ARE NOT DOING IT WRONG. There is nothing wrong with you! You are wonderful!

When your mind wanders–THANK YOUR BRAIN. (hehe!)


Well…your brain is supposed to THINK, isn’t it?

So, Thank you Brain for thinking and doing your job so well…and then re-focus back to your GRATITUDE WALK or your WORTHINESS WALK.

Can’t walk–that’s okay, too! Do this as a meditation…sit back in your chair -or- in your bed and FOCUS on your present moment gratitudes or worthiness for 10-20 minutes.

Wonderful things happen in my life when I am in tune with my soul–when I am connected to spirit. These walks are one of the ways I have found to be most powerful in my own life–and naturally, I wanted to share it with you so you can also benefit from it…because I just love you so much & I care sooo much about your well-being!

While my walks came out of necessity, now it is something I enjoy and look forward to every day.

And my Soul thanks me (and I thank my Soul! hehe) My Soul knows the way! ❤







Manifest Money!

Abraham-Hicks says, “Hold a thought for just 17 seconds and the Law of Attraction kicks in. Hold a thought for 68 seconds, and things move; manifestation has begun.”

With that idea in mind, I wrote this paper to help myself and others keep the thought of abundance for 68 seconds and beyond. All to help kickstart your manifesting! You have my permission to print this out for your own personal use. I recommend reading twice a day (in the morning and at night) and really get into the FEELING of it. Thoughts become things–but more importantly, what you feel about, you bring about.

FEEL abundant, and you will be.

If you find this useful, please let me know in the comments! I would like to make more on other topics of manifestation in the future!  Hope you enjoy!

Abundance Manifestation

The positive forces of the Universe are on my side to create whatever I need or desire. I am a powerful creator of my own reality. I choose what I want to show up in my life. I am one with the beautiful light–the infinite love, infinite channel, and the infinite source of the Universe! Through this power, I release all experiences of lack and unworthiness. I release all negative emotions I may have surrounding abundance. It is safe for me to release any feelings of fear, lack, guilt, or anything else that I might be feeling about prosperity. I know I am worthy of an amazingly abundant life. Through this immense power inside of me, I know I am capable of receiving everything that I need or desire. It is safe for me to have money. I release all my limitation concerning money.releasing-fears

This is a new day full of many wonderful possibilities. I am living an amazing life filled with wonderful experiences and I am abundantly prosperous. I am living the life of my dreams. I own my dream home and my dream car that is perfectly suited to my needs and wants. I am able to enjoy the finer things in life. I am able to give the ones I love the things they need and desire. It feels so good to give! I am able to travel to beautiful places and enjoy the planet I live on. I am able to engage in hobbies that I enjoy! Living this abundant life allows me to help others. I use my money to do meaningful things for myself and others. I gladly receive money and I gladly give money.

From this powerful place inside of me, I am now a vibrational match to an abundance of effortless money coming to me in many joyful ways. I am a vibrational match to financial prosperity because I chose to only think positive thoughts about money. I choose to attract positive and abundant circumstances into my experience. Because of this, I stay in a wonderful place of continuously receiving money and other forms of abundance that is in my highest good.

I now allow the Universe to create a vessel in my mind, spirit, and heart to joyfully hold unlimited financial prosperity! I am limitless! The amount of money coming to me is ever increasing. From this day forward, I literally expect an abundance of money or come out of nowhere. I expect money and it always arrives. I anticipate money’s arrival as I go about my day. I expect money and it always arrives.

how-to-manifest-moneyI receive money throughout my day and I even make money while I am sleeping! I am a strong money magnet! Money is just energy and it flows to me easily. I have a good relationship with my money. I love my money and my money loves me! Money is waiting for me in my mailbox right now! When I check my mail, I always receive wonderful checks! When I check my email, money is always there for me! When I check my bank account, I always smile because I feel safe & secure with a large amount of money I have in all my accounts. It feels so good to have all my bills paid. I gladly pay my bills with a positive attitude. I know that money is just energy and what I give out will always return to me. My money makes me feel safe & secure. I am thankful for all the money I have, and for all the money that is coming to me now! Thank you, Universe!mailbox-and-money

I am worthy of all the good things that life has to offer! I am worthy of having nice things. I am worthy of feeling safe and secure. I am worthy of abundance. I am worthy of prosperity. I am worthy of having all my needs and desires met. I am worthy of having large amounts of money. Money is always coming to me in rapid abundance!

I now open my mind, body, and soul to receive! I am open to receive all the wonderful gifts that the Universe has to offer to me! I am ready to allow money, abundance, and prosperity to enter my life! Thank you, Universe!


Birth & Shine

I was 37 weeks pregnant with my Kate and things were going absolutely fantastic. Unlike my first two pregnancies, my blood pressure was normal week after week. I was so thankful and thought I would finally make it to 40 weeks without having to be induced with one of my kiddos! 14721711_10153784280616216_105816644170974142_n

A couple days later, went grocery shopping with our two oldest daughters and I decided to test my blood pressure on one of the store’s machines.

The result was super high…it pretty much said, “go to the hospital right now!” It was all too familiar to me since I had been induced twice before due to very high blood pressure during pregnancy.

“Oh no,” I thought. “Not again…I thought everything was okay this time!”

I didn’t want it to be this way. This time, I wanted a calm birth for my baby. I didn’t want it to be an emergency.

But it was.

So off to the hospital we went.

It was no surprise that they admitted me and began administering medication that would soften my cervix to prepare to be induced.

This process was a painful 24 hours.

They checked me, and I wasn’t even 1 cm dilated. Oh, no.

The doctors came in with long faces and told me that the medication wasn’t working to soften my cervix.

And my blood pressure wasn’t going down, even with the 2 different medications they had me on to lower it.

I knew what they were going to say. The words I didn’t want to hear.

“You need a c-section, it’s our only option left,” they said.

I was so stressed out.

I didn’t want my Kate to be born this way.

I wanted it to be calm.

“This isn’t what I want!!” I thought.

I began to pray with all my might to God and my Angels.

I begged the doctors to check me one last time– but they didn’t want to.

They knew I was still around 1 cm and they needed me to be at least 3 cm before they would move me to labor & delivery.

But, the doctor had mercy on me (probably because I was crying!) and decided to check me one last time.

I went from being “barely 1 cm” and now I was 4 cm and officially in labor–literally in one hour!

The doctors were like, “woah..” and I was like, “woah…” and Ben was like, “woah..” (okay…let me stop. ha!)

I totally credit my Angels for making that happen! Go, team, go!

So, I went up to labor & delivery and they gave me some super strong meds to get my blood pressure down.

But it happened a little too fast and all of a sudden I was throwing up & passing out.

But I pushed through, and we got to the fun part–active labor!

I started to violently shake (like I always do when I am in labor!) The nurses told me it’s called, “labor shakes.” All the shaking made me feel completely out of control. My pain was intensified because I felt like I had no control over my body.

I decided to put my spiritual work to the test. Was my mind really more powerful than my body? Was my mind really more powerful than my circumstance? I was willing to find out.

I put a laser focus on theses affirmations, “I am calm. I am still.” and I began to shake less.

“Holy moly…it’s WORKING!” I thought.

Then, I started talking to my body. I very sternly I told my body, “Stop shaking, NOW! Stop. Stop. Stop.”

Guess what? My body listened.

I completely stopped shaking.

I was so excited!! I would have jumped up & down and done a little dance–but I was sort of in labor so instead, I was celebrating in my head! Woohoo!

I proved how powerful my mind was, and then I made the decision to create a pain-free experience for myself.

I began to imagine that I was floating above my body, and as I was looking down, I was merely a spectator. I imagined that I was not the one experiencing the pain.

The pain eased up a bit.

Then all of a sudden things got incredibly intense, as my baby’s entrance into the world was coming closer.

And my visualization stopped working. I wasn’t able to focus.


“It’s okay”, I thought. “I’ll just play a game. Yea, a game will work.”

I thought of a random object, “oranges.”

Then another, “curtains.”

Then another, “penguins.”

I forced myself to choose a new object each time.

Not as easy as you might think when you are in incredible pain…

But it worked! My pain was intense but my little game made me feel like I was floating above it all.

Minutes later, with a quiet room and the lights dimmed, my midwife sitting on the edge of the bed, and two very quick pushes–my precious Kate was born in the most gentle and loving way.

When I held her tiny, absolutely precious body–I literally couldn’t say anything other than, “Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.”


I must have said it for 10 minutes straight. I was just in complete awe of this wonderful experience and my newest miracle.

About 6 hours after she was born, the hospital informed me that Tropical Storm Matthew had upgraded to Hurricane Matthew while I was in labor and that the hospital was going to be on lock down.



That meant that anyone who was “not necessary” had to leave the building.

That meant that my husband had to leave with our two older daughters.

That meant that my older two daughters would go through their first hurricane without their Mommy there to hold them and tell them it would be okay.

That meant that Kate would not have any visitors and no one to celebrate her birth.

That meant I would be painfully alone to worry and wonder what was happening with my precious family.

6 hours after my baby was born, I was still on all sorts of medications for my blood pressure, that made me very weak, and I was a complete mess.

I couldn’t stop crying.

And I don’t mean normal crying…

I mean, I was sobbing. My chest was heaving. I began to hyperventilate. My nurses were working overtime with me…bless their hearts! (I am forever grateful to them all.)

I was heartbroken.

It was such a beautiful birth. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

So, my family left. What other choice did we have? I prayed with them & for them to be safe through the storm, I hugged & kissed them…and they walked out the door.


About an hour after they left I realized that…..I couldn’t see!


My nurse rushed in.

My doctor rushed in.

My insanely high blood pressure was causing the blood vessels on the back of my eyes to compress and was causing me to lose my vision.

Oh. My. God.

I was so scared.

Thankfully, after a while, I began to see again. But everything was extremely blurry.

My beautiful baby had six heads when I looked at her. I was very disoriented.

The baby’s nurse came in and very kindly explained to me that they were going to take Kate to the nursery until my vision returned to normal because I was not able to care for her when I literally couldn’t see straight. doubler-vision-istock_00001

This was non-negotiable. They wouldn’t listen to my reasoning.


I was truly all alone.

And even as I type this now, I am filled with great emotion…

Because I have never known what it felt like to be heartbroken…and now I do.

At my core, I am an optimistic person and I knew that I needed something to lift my spirits and shift me into a higher vibration.

In this moment, the only people who could offer me comfort were my friends and family on Facebook.

I couldn’t see the keyboard much, but I decided to try to make a post about what was happening. (My typing skills were really put to the test this day.)

I shared that my family had to leave Kate and me at the hospital.

I shared that I was utterly devastated.

I didn’t, however, tell anyone that my sight was compromised or that they had also taken Kate from me. It felt too big to share for me in that moment.

Many of my sweet friends and family wrote very kind & loving comments to me (my nurse read them to me!)


Most of them, made me see a little light in my situation–where I could not see it myself.

I was in a dark hole, and I needed someone to reach down their hand and offer to pull me up.

But then…oh, then….I got a message.

It read something along the lines of, “Wow, Shaunna. I am shocked to see the post you made–it is so negative! I enjoy seeing your positive posts and you really need to look for the silver lining here. You are blowing this situation out of proportion. This is not who you are.”

Umm….who I am?

Who I am is a human being. You know, an actual human being with a vast array of different emotions.

Who I am is a mother who only 6 hours ago had a beautiful baby, got her family ripped away, was worried sick about them driving an hour away during a freakin’ HURRICANE! Then went blind, and had her baby taken away from her, too.

That’s who I am.

This person made me feel guilty–I am supposed to be the one who lifts others up, I shouldn’t need this support.

This person made me feel silly–I am making too big a deal of my situation.

This person made me feel unworthy of the love and support that I was desperately seeking.

Instead of responding, I just cried.

My nurse wiped my tears, hugged me, and listened to my incomprehensible words. She is an angel, for sure.

16 weeks later, this message is still weighing heavily on my mind and here is what I can finally say to it:

“Yes, I am an optimistic person. Yes, I try my absolute best to see the good in my life. Yes, I go to bed every night and think of all the reasons I am grateful for my life. Yes, I say affirmations and I believe in Angels. Yes, yes to all of it.

But, there was no good in this situation for me.

This situation was awful and one of the worst moments of my life.

I am a human being. I have feelings–and it might be a surprise to you, but many of them are NOT positive–and that does not make me wrong.

Also, you might not know this about me but at night when I am thanking God for all the wonderful things in my life–I also include the bad things. Why you ask?

Well, because these tough moments in my life teach me the greatest lessons.

They teach me about deep love, trust, forgiveness, compassion…and most of these things cannot be learned through positive experiences. I came to this planet to experience life– and honestly, without the bad experiences, I could never know how good things could be.

In order for there to be light, there must be darkness.

This was my darkness, and I will not allow you to judge me for it.

I own it. I am proud of it.

My feelings were my own–they may not seem valid to you, but you were not the one living it.

The lesson was not meant for you–and that’s okay.

I forgive you for saying these hurtful things to me…and also, I thank you.

I will thank you because you have also created a lesson for me.

You have made me see that while I might be a certain picture to many people–doesn’t mean I have to live up that.

I am who I am.

You have reminded me why it is extremely important to be authentic and vulnerable.

Thank you.”

I am a natural born teacher, and it is my passion to help others to learn how to reach down into the deepest parts of themselves and clear out things that are blocking their good from entering into their lives. I am passionate about helping people to realize that they have a brilliant light that shines from within & empowering them to share their light with the world!

As a spiritual teacher, am I allowed to feel depressed? Am I allowed to be sad? Am I allowed to have a horrible experience?

Heck yes.

I need these experiences so I can share, be authentic, vulnerable, and help others on their own path.

Making the choice to be a positive person doesn’t mean that you will never have bad experiences. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to feel the feelings you have.

FEEL your feelings & honor them. There is always a lesson there for you.

I am real. I have vowed to live an authentic life, and I am thankful for all the experiences that I am blessed with.

Because of my experiences (good & bad), I am better able to help others & allow my light to shine.


How I Purposely Manifested Our Home

12802903_10153282447856216_4095814691319697580_nIn 2011, my husband and I moved into our first apartment together with our 10-month-old daughter, Lily. It was a cute 2 bedroom, and absolutely perfect for our tiny family.

The next year, in 2012, I became pregnant with my second daughter, Emma. We were so excited that our family was growing but we knew that we needed to upgrade our space so our two children could live comfortably. But this time, we wanted a house instead of an apartment.

We looked to rent a new home in 2012, and we just couldn’t find anything in our budget. I told myself that it was okay and that we would just move after baby #2 was born.

In 2013, we began what would become our annual house hunt once again. We looked and looked…and still found nothing that we could afford. I was so sad, but remained positive that we would find something the next year…so we resigned our apartment lease, and we stayed.

In 2014, we played the same game…but this time my heart was so heavy. I didn’t have any hope left. It wasn’t a surprise that we didn’t find a home that year either. Lots of tears were shed. I felt so guilty for letting my kids down.

When January 2015 rolled around, I was determined to find a house. I told myself that I was going to do ANYTHING to get our family out of that apartment and into a larger home that we all wanted and needed for our family. My hope & motivation was restored and I thought that this was definitely our year!

I wanted my girls to have a yard to play in so badly. I wanted them to have a swing set, a pool, leaves to jump in…I wanted them to have the freedom to sing and dance in the living room without worrying what our downstairs neighbor would say. I wanted them to be able to be kids. And my heart absolutely broke that I had failed to find them a home for so many years before.

I began an obsessive online search. I spent most of my days searching for homes–without much luck.We spent our weekends driving around hoping to see a “for rent” sign in a nice neighborhood.

I was determined to make this happen so I enlisted the help of a real estate agent in our quest to find a rental. He gave us lots of options, but none of them panned out because there were so many other people interested in the rentals as well. We had all our friends and family on the lookout for rentals for us, too. It was tough to find a place in our city and even though I was so determined–my faith was wavering.

We were running out of time and running out of options.

The day came where we had to either move out of the apartment or resign our apartment’s lease…

And since we were not able to find anything, even with the help of a real estate agent…we were forced to resign the lease.

This was not one of my proudest days.

I remember being in the car and having a complete breakdown. I was crying and screaming, “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!”

I said, “I’m pretty sure that the Universe hates me! Everyone else can live in a beautiful home but I am absolutely STUCK here in this apartment for the rest of my life!”

I was so mad at the Universe. I had read all my spiritual books. I kinda prayed…I kinda meditated…you know, sometimes. And this is what I get in return?! A bunch of nothing. I was hating on the Universe–BIG TIME. What was the Universe doing for me other than keeping me stuck somewhere I didn’t want to be? Yea, the Universe wasn’t my friend at this point in my life.

It was during this absolute lowest moment that I had my aha! moment.

I was doing this to myself.

I was creating this experience.

Everything I had ever read about the law of attraction and creating your own reality all of a sudden clicked.

This was all. my. fault.

I told my husband, “Oh my gosh, this is all my fault. I have been thinking so negatively. I have been thinking and saying that we are never going to find anything because I have been let down so many times before. I have been asking why is this happening to me. I am doing this.”

He said, “Babe, this isn’t your fault.”

But it was. I was mad at myself.

I knew so much about spirituality, the law of attraction, and the law of vibration…and KNEW that it would work but I hadn’t put any of it into practice.

What the heck was wrong with me!?

As soon as I got home to the apartment, I decided that it was the day that I was going to change.

Like, really change.

It was January 2015 at the time, and the first thing I decided to do was surround myself with positive energy.

First, I did this by removing negative people from my social media, by canceling my cable so I wouldn’t be tempted to watch the news or negative shows, and by only talking to people who made me feel good.

I wouldn’t watch ANYTHING that was remotely negative. I wouldn’t read those sad stories you see all over social media. I wouldn’t speak to people who love to complain. I even asked my husband to refrain from telling me about the drama that happened at his job.

I watched only shows that made me laugh, to help raise my vibration. I read a lot of spiritual books, self-help, and motivational books. I made many vision boards. I got into drawing & painting, which was very positive for me. I created a positive Instagram account so I could focus on finding quotes and knowledge and posting it there each day.

I got SERIOUS about who and what I allowed to affect my energy.

Next, I learned to meditate which helped me so much to calm my nerves and reach for a higher vibration.

And then, I learned all about Angels. Just knowing that I was being loved, guided, and supported by my Angels was absolutely life changing for me!

At this point, had been on this spiritual journey for 8 months. In August 2015, I created a vision board to purposely manifest my new

I hung it above my dining room table. I looked at it every chance I got. I repeated the affirmations all day long.

Nothing noticeable happened for a while…

Then one day in October 2015 we ran into a family friend while we were at a festival.

She told us that she had recently become a real estate agent.

She wanted to know if we would be interested in buying a home. She said she knew that we were cramped in our little apartment with our two kids.

I told her that our credit wasn’t the best because we had a voluntary car repossession from 2012 on there. We owed about $8,000 on it and until it was paid off, we were just going to be looking to rent.

She told me, “It’s probably not as bad as you think. We can probably have you in a house by the end of next year.”


We could be HOMEOWNERS in just a little over a year?!

No way, sounded way too good to be true.

I went home and pulled out my Angel oracle cards. I asked if this was the right time for us to buy a home.

I pulled, “Perfect timing.”

I needed more confirmation from my Angels so I asked Ben if he would pull a card. He also pulled “perfect timing.” Holy moly!

The next day, my friend called and told me that she had set up a phone call with a loan officer. I was so nervous because I thought he might laugh at our credit score. I thought it might ask me why I was even wasting his time.

Oh no, those negative thoughts were creeping back in.

So, I turned to my Angels and my Angel cards. I asked them for guidance about the phone call. I pulled, “You’re being helped.” Which said, things were being worked out by your Angels behind the scenes. your-being-helped

The next day, he called me and after just a few questions, he told me that we were approved for a home loan.


“What about the voluntary car repossession that is on our credit?” I asked.

He said, “Hm, I don’t see that on here. Let me check again. Nope..nothing like that on here. It must have fallen off.”

I was shocked, “Are you sure?! I just checked online yesterday and it was on there..and I know it takes at least 7 years for something to fall off your credit and it’s only been 3 years!”

He said, “I’m absolutely sure…there is no repossession on here.”

Holy Mother of God. This was really happening!

Now, I knew that is exactly what my Angels meant when I pulled the card that said they were ‘working behind the scenes.’

This kind of stuff just doesn’t happen, right?! There must be something going on and it will come to bite me in the butt later, right?

But I thought, get out of here, negative thoughts. This. is. happening!

From there it was a little slow going since we had the holidays and a trip to Tennessee planned. I kept pulling Angel cards and listening to the guidance that was given to me through my intuition.

All was well.

In January, we began to look for homes.

At first, we were finding only major fixer uppers in our price point. I was getting a little discouraged that maybe we wouldn’t find the perfect home for us.

One night while our family was driving to a restaurant, I asked my Angels out loud, “Am I on the right path? Please give me a sign because I am feeling like the houses we are seeing are not for us and we need to move from our apartment by March! Please give me a sign, Angels!”

After my husband ordered our food, he asked me to look at the receipt. $22.22. I knew that was an Angel number so I quickly looked it up and it said, “Keep your faith. You are on the right path.”

I started to cry because I felt so guided and supported by my Angels. So, we kept on going.

A couple days later, I told my Angels that I would know that we found the perfect house because there would be some kind of Angel sign. There would be an Angel number (1111, 2222, 3333. etc), an Angel word (halo, wings, feathers, Michael, etc), or I would see an Angel sign (feathers or a coin.)

We went out on Friday to look at three different houses and I had the most amazing energy flowing through me. There was something different about this day. It felt like this was THE day.

We got to the first house before the realtor. I got out of the car and immediately told my 6-year-old daughter, Lily, that this was our new home. I told her to stand there and let me take a picture of the day we found our new home!13083361_10153408123421216_6674637437363674708_n

She said, “Mom, is this REALLY our new home?”

I had this feeling going through me. My gut said yes. My heart said yes.

My 4-year-old daughter, Emma, gave me a little pink flower. I accidentally dropped it and when I did, I saw a big feather on the ground right at my feet!


There was my Angel sign!

At that point, I KNEW this house would be ours.

Our realtor tried to keep me grounded by saying, “You might not get this one, so let’s look at the others…”

But, I believed with every ounce of my being that we would live in that house. We would make it our home and that the Angels had lead me here all along!

The next day, we went to put an offer on the home.

Our real estate agent friend, her husband, and my husband were all talking about putting a lower offer on the house.

My intuition was screaming at me, “GO FULL PRICE.”

My husband didn’t agree…he thought going lower was the better option. Our friends were on his side.

On and on we went and this little voice in my heart kept saying, “This MUST be a full price offer!”

My husband knows all about my intuitive feelings, so I turned to him and said, “Please trust me, I have a feeling. It NEEDS to be full price. I don’t know why, but let’s just trust.”

So we put in a full price offer and I decided to write a little note to the owner of the home telling her about us…so we were not just names on a piece of paper.

Our agent told us that we would need to wait about 3 days before we got a response. She told us to go home and keep our minds busy while we waited.

That same night, she called.

She told us that she couldn’t believe what had happened.

There was only one other offer on the home other than ours.

And it was full price.

And what tipped us over was my little note.

Ah!! Thank you intuition & my Angels–if not for that the house would have gone to the other people.

The rest is history. We are happily living in our new home.


I did 10 months of soul work before things started shifting.

But I did this. I raised my vibration. I got myself out of the “poor me” frequency. I changed this situation. I invited my Angels in to help.

I did this.

I purposely manifested our home.

I did this and I couldn’t be more proud!

My kids can finally play in the leaves and run in their yard…and they can have super loud & fun dance parties in the living room.